INTENTION AND THE GRUMBLER

A beautiful spring day last weekend got Jamie and me back on our road bikes. As a farily novice rider, I don't like to ride on the streets.  We are fortunate to have a well-maintained bike path near our home, with underpasses that allow us to avoid the traffic and delays that come with riding on the roads. 

One of the first things I learned from Jamie, who has been cycling for years, was the importance of letting others know that you're coming. When he is riding in the lead, he is unfailing about alerting people when we are behind them wanting to pass, warning walkers/joggers that we're coming up from behind, and hollering "BIKE UP" as we enter an underpass tunnel and  again when we are about to emerge.

As we rode last weekend, The Grumbler in my mind started up because many riders fail to extend the same courtesies and safety warnings. The Grumbler started whinjing and asking pesky questions like: "Why should you holler and warn other riders when they obviously don't do the same thing for you? Maybe you should just look out for yourself. "

That's when it's helpful for me to remember the power of clear intentions. When I'm hearing all the reasons I could act like everyone else, I can remind The Grumbler (who bears a remarkable resemblance to me) that my intention is to be a courteous and safe rider, regardless of how others choose to behave. And so I re-commit to following the common-sense guidelines that Jamie taught me when I started cycling.

The Grumblers occasionally appear when we're working with clients or doing workshops. "Well, I tried being authentic with So-and-So and it didn't turn out the way I hoped," they say to us. "They weren't willing to be authentic with me, so why should I put myself out there?"

If we're only trying on Authentic as a way to get something we want from others, that is just another form of manipulation. This is why we so heavily emphasize that the first, most important work in having Authentic Conversations is to get clear on your own intentions. Decide who you want to be in the world, then commit to living in alignment. What is your purpose in the moment? What do you want to create now and in the future? 

We believe being authentic is something to do because of the importance of those kinds of questions, not something to do so others will behave in a certain manner or treat us the way we want them to.

Once I remembered my bike rider intentions, I made it clear to The Grumbler that I was making a different choice. For good measure, I put in a little extra oomph when I hollered "BIKE UP!"

MAREN

SAVING JOBS BY ENGAGING EMPLOYEES

Paul Levy is the CEO, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center is the organization. The problem is a $20 million shortfall in revenues, and 600 employees are in the cross-hairs for layoffs.

What happened next is so uncommon it made the news:  A head with a heart.

Mr. Levy convened a large meeting of employees and gave them a direct, clear picture of what was going on with the company. He told them he wanted help resolving the issue so that the “lower wage earners” wouldn't be the ones who suffered the most. He made it clear that resolution meant that everyone would be affected.

Not only did he earn a standing ovation, he had enough suggestions in a week (sometimes flying in at 100 per hour) to trim $15 million off the shortfall, which reduced the potential for layoffs from 600 to 150.

In one afternoon meeting, Mr. Levy:

• Used engagement and authentic conversation to solve a difficult business issue.


• Created for people in the medical center a powerful personal experience and      connection to the business.


• Created a culture of accountability in the room that transcended the moment.


• Engaged everyone with one simple question: “How do we reduce costs without the burden falling to the lower wage earners?


• Demonstrated that leading with humility and ethics can get you good results. 

Thanks to our friend Polly Gates for bringing this to our attention.

JAMIE & MAREN

A GOOD APPLE

We have been hammered ad nauseum in the last several months with stories about  CEO self-interest and greed. So a recent article about CEO Bobby Keen, of Hancock Regional Hospital near Indianapolis, radiated hope and a shining example of what is possible.  If you’re looking for a lift, we highly recommend reading the article.

As CEO of this hospital, which in 2008 generated $155 million in revenue, Keen understands — and exhibits through action — that if employees at all levels don’t understand and commit to the organization’s mission, they can’t effectively contribute to shaping the company’s future.

In the article, Mr. Keen refers to four specific factors that contribute to creating a culture of inclusion. They have one thing in common – authentic conversations. They honor freedom, choice and accountability as fundamental aspects of human existence.

When we set up competitive environments at work, winning is what matters. When winning is the emphasis in organizational cultures, an outlook of scarcity rather than abundance develops, which encourages behaviors that are rooted in self-interest rather than the good of the whole. That kind of mindset is a huge roadblock to understanding the critical interdependencies and collaboration needed to create business success.

Too many CEOs see the work that goes into creating this kind of culture as someone else’s responsibility. We are delighted to see CEOs like Mr. Keen who are building cultures of inclusion and engagement and demonstrating the powerful force inherent in authentic conversations. 

We'd love to start getting hammered with stories about CEOs like Keen. 

 JAMIE

TRY, TRY AGAIN

We recently had dinner with a friend who expressed frustration at her inability to engage her father in an authentic conversation about politics. “I told him I could see the reasons he supported his candidate — and I really could. I wasn’t just saying it. I thought that would create an opening for me to talk about my views so we could understand each other. But when I tried to tell him how I saw things, he shut the conversation down.”

It reminded me of a situation I ran into professionally several years ago. The newspaper where I worked had gone through a painful reorganization that put many people in jobs that they didn’t particularly want and for which they didn’t feel well suited. A colleague approached me about her frustration, and I suggested she have an honest conversation with her supervisor that explored ways to transition into a position that better showcased her skills.

She took my advice and later came to me on the verge of tears. “I will never do that again,” she said. “She had no interest in what I wanted. She just got angry and told me to deal with the situation the way it is.” 

Sometimes our desire to feel understood fuels a subconscious intention of creating an “epiphany” for the other person, which can lead to letdowns. I have embarked on countless conversations thinking that by expressing myself with goodwill, listening reflectively and arguing the other side, I would get a desired outcome: the other person would want to understand how I see things.

Unfortunately, authentic conversations don’t come with a money-back guarantee. 

In my experience, the first road we want to take is the one expressed by my colleague: “Well, I tried to be authentic and it didn’t work. I won’t try that again.” Our disappointment becomes data, another layer of evidence that being authentic is ineffective. 

How you choose to respond in the face of a disappointing interaction matters. Giving up is one choice, or you can make a choice to continue engaging others authentically and let go of the desire that people follow a desired script.

At the time, I felt guilty when my colleague told me about her conversation with the supervisor. I thought I had given her bad advice because she didn’t get an understanding response. Reflecting on it today, however, I am convinced she did the right thing. 

In the face of disappointing outcomes, it helps me to remind myself of who I want to be in the world. If I can re-commit to authentic conversations regardless of how they turn out, it is easier to pick myself up, dust myself off and try it again. 

And again.

And again.

MAREN

TELL IT LIKE IT IS

You can't turn around without hearing the pundits and commentators weighing in, like sportscasters calling a football game, about whether the stimulus plan will work, whether tax cuts will help or hurt, whether nationalizing the banks or car companies would save them or destroy capitalism as we know it.

The diversity of opinion is a good thing, and when people can find it in them to be respectful and civil in expressing their views, it enriches the national conversation.

President Obama is in Phoenix today, where Jamie and I live, because we have the third-highest foreclosure rate in the nation. Whether you voted for him or not, whether you like how his administration is handing the economic meltdown or not, we hope you can appreciate the direct, adult conversations he is having with the nation's citizens. 

After explaining his plan for addressing the mortgage crisis, here's how he closed the speech he gave at Dobson High School in Mesa today:

 "Our housing crisis was born of eroding home values, but also of the erosion of our common values. It was brought about by big banks that traded in risky mortgages in return for profits that were literally too good to be true; by lenders who knowingly took advantage of homebuyers; by homebuyers who knowingly borrowed too much from lenders; by speculators who gambled on rising prices; and by leaders in our nation's capital who failed to act amidst a deepening crisis.

"So solving this crisis will require more than resources -- it will require all of us to take responsibility. Government must take responsibility for setting rules of the road that are fair and fairly enforced. Banks and lenders must be held accountable for ending the practices that got us into this crisis in the first place. Individuals must take responsibility for their own actions. And all of us must learn to live within our means again..."

Throughout his speech, he exhibits several of the qualities we talk about in our book, but the thing that really gets our attention is that he is taking the message directly to citizens and talking to us like the adults we are.

Most importantly, he doesn’t sugarcoat the difficult issue — we are ALL responsible for this big mess and therefore responsible for helping to clean it up.

MAREN & JAMIE